The intentions of my last
post faded like the morning mist off a lake the moment a hot summer sun hits
it. Distraction found it's way into a tight fitting monocular focus
albeit the occasional blunder. Small success ascended by relatively
larger success deepened the drive to keep pushing. I've been more or
less content with the process. Why not? How could I devote much time
to think about anything else?
The end of 2014 saw me on
a couple of trips to Colorado to visit family and friends. One being
Christmas. Immediately after my return to Houston in September my
mother came down for a visit. Aside of that, Tuesday night bowling
league and some sort of daily exercise, usually a run, I've more or
less haven't made time for anything else.
I can't say it's been the
healthiest choice except on the fiscal end of things. A silver lining
in the arena of creativity is that I have been making time for the
guitar and my playing seems to have improved quite a lot.
While visiting a good
friend in Colorado last fall I was taped singing and playing off the
top of my head. Improv. Last week he sent me a clip to ecourage me to
persue my creative potential and to stop stiffling myself within the
ABC's of sorting nuts and bolts. I had completely forgotten what I
had done and felt inspired by it.
The passing of time has
been very disturbing to me as of late. Everyone says time passes
faster as we age but I believe there is more to it than that. I can't
believe how much more I use to get done in a day compared to now. It
doesn't compute. Perhaps it's the million and one distractions we are
potentially bombarded with each day or a quantum physics riddle in an
ever expanding universe that has no end nor a beginning. How can
anyone have an exlplanation for it? I feel an urgency to either call
it or get on with it. Middle age is a funny thing. It's a time where
one can just sort of settle and say, “Well this is what it is and
it's ok”, and be satified with what it is, or, one can feel an
urgency to quit wasting time and build the damn castle, lay down the
perogative, or bet it all on one hand of Black.
In some ways I know
exactly what it's like to be a mule with blinders. A mule can plow a
lot of soil thus get a lot done but there's so much more going on in
the periphery. Although I have a tendency to be self absorbed I don't
think that has been much the case as of late. On a base level I've
simply been taking care of business.
As of now I am trying to
switch gears and come up with a plan for the rest of the year.
Otherwise it will be 2016 before I know it and I'll be wondering
whatever happened to the to do list I wrote up ten years ago. Well,
at least there are a few check boxes.....
