15 Minutes Isn't As Long As It Use Be

Lately I’ve been in a canned beer frame of mind running all over the place looking for cool old stuff while meeting odd and interesting people. Spending here and selling there in hopes of saving enough for another chapter under the persona of, “World Traveler and Thinker”. For the most part I’ve been having fun as I ride a smooth wave along a broad expanse of familiar routine laced with never really knowing what I might find. It keeps things interesting. I go about it all in a very loosely planned, mostly random, fashion.

Give me an average good predictable day with a laugh and a giggle and I’ll take it. Give me a mildly unpredictable day laced with triumph and disappointment and I’ll probably like it a lot more. Dull days don’t really exist in my reality. Crazy days are best avoided because like most, I can only handle so much crazy. As long as I don’t give myself too hard of a time, when encountering inevitable bouts of disappointment, I’m more or less content. As usual, I really have nothing to complain about.

Since the last post work has been going well. I decided not to pursue a venture into a real estate opportunity as I thought it would be a bit more than I could realistically handle. I didn’t want the pressure. I was going to go to SXSW (Austin Music Festival) but I really had too much going on. Also, I wasn’t really feeling up for dealing with the crowds. Instead, I settled for free beer and live music at Cactus Records in Houston.

Creatively, I’ve continued shakily through the Artist Way program (via book) and am avoiding the guitar more than ever. After all, there’s work, I need to file my taxes, I need to go for a run, etc. etc… What are my true priorities? Avoiding the thing I really should be doing? Whatever it is? Content complacency is my friend when it comes to creative endeavors.

So, what’s the Antidote when everything is fine? Fine is good. Fine is no problem. Better is better but great is better than fine. At least I assume so. However, greatness can be elusive and fleeting. 15 minutes isn’t as long as it use to be.

Last Sunday I got up at 6am and ran 12 quick miles with some friends from the running club. It was the second time I’ve done so in the past month. I must admit it felt good to go further and a little faster. I have zero desire whatsoever to race but it’s nice to maintain a certain standard of fitness. It makes me feel like I’m not getting any older.

As of late, l've been looking at people my own age thinking, "There’s no way we’re the same age". I think to myself, “Geez, their kids are going to college”. They own a big house and fancy overpriced car while hovering upon the top tiers of a corporate ladder. Some even hint of an early retirement. How is that possible? Not to mention, some are starting to actually look old. Time and gravity aren’t the best friends to aging. All said, I’m not sure what to think about the 65 and over crowd sporting a new tattoo.

A Musical Thorn In My Side

Written On the Evening of Monday, March 12, after a shot of espresso.

As predicted, no sooner than I got off the plane in Houston, I jumped back into my old routine. I’ve been spun out in work mode and just realized it’s an hour later than I thought it was. Almost 3 weeks have passed since I left the Imperial lifestyle of Costa Rica. I’ve been busy looking for more money and forgot about more funny. Everyone is asking where my next trip will be. I have absolutely no idea and no plans.

So I’m finally getting into a book that a friend gave me 12 years ago. Yeah, I guess I put it off awhile. I figure if I’m really going to do anything with my creative self I might as well get on with it before I turn into a woulda shoulda coulda it’s too late kind of guy. The book I’m referring to is called The Artists Way. It’s pretty well known and has been around awhile. It provides and outlines a program to free up and grease the creative cogs of the right brain. I keep thinking back to some of the best advice I ever got out of a performance workshop, “Invest more time in the Absurd”.

So, I’m a singer songwriter and obviously a bit of a writer with this blog. Over the years I’ve written countless fragments to numerous melodies and have done a very good job of not sharing, forgetting, and neglecting. It’s mostly a bunch of crap but somewhere within it all I believe there may be an element of something different, or, maybe even worthwhile.

For the past 30 years I’ve been fairly consistent with picking up the guitar and doing something in the privacy of my own space where no one can hear. There have been brief segments of time where in a flash of inspiration I’d play a few open mikes. At one point I actually laid down a few tracks in a studio. I even posted a few songs on MySpace Music and over time have had a couple of local promoters contact me. Of course I turned them down. I simply don’t have my act together at all.

My complacent attitude and approach towards any musical abilities I posses has left me with a constant thorn in my side. I am insanely critical of whatever I do and aside of a clever line here and there I can’t say I’d call what I come up with all that interesting or even good. I’ve done a wonderful job stifling myself in a time where lots of people profit off bad music. I can be critical of others but it’s nothing compared to the criticism towards myself. The only one holding me back is me and I’ve been doing a very good job at that.

I’ve never envisioned myself as a performer touring around telling goofy jokes between songs with the obligatory sing along and Kum By Ya warm fuzzy while standing on a corner stage at Molly’s coffee shop. After the show you can buy my Cd for $15. Thanks for the tips and don’t forget to sign my email list.

I guess that’s part of the game and many folky folks make a decent free spirit life out of it but I don’t really think that’s me. But what if it is? No, I know myself better than that. Or do I?

I’ve camped with tank topped Birkenstock clad songwriters at folk festivals and song schools and I can’t say I’ve really enjoyed it all that much. Sure, there are inspirational moments but I don’t much care for Folk Music when you get right down it unless it’s really good like Dylan or Townes. So much folk music sounds the same and most of it really isn’t all that good. Same riffs, cords, techniques, formulas etc. About the only thing that sets folk artists apart from one another is their stage presence. Go to a folk show and buy the CD afterwards. 9 times out of 10 you will be disappointed with the recorded version but may have loved the live show.

So what the heck am I going to do about it? Usually when I get inspired to start doing something with my music the first thing I’ll do is avoid the guitar and fill my life with other more important things like wasting time on the internet or dive into projects that really are more important. I’m exceptionally good at over using the pause button.

So, I’m at Cactus records the other day and see this band call Dr Dog. The sound system/pa was pretty bad but I could still tell the band is quite good. They’re kind of a reinvented 60’s pop type group for the modern age. The store was absolutely packed and tickets for their show that night had been sold out for days. The crowd was mostly 20 something’s and younger with a few older people scattered about.

Although their music is quite good I really felt it as the sound of a younger generation. A sound for a different time. I can’t say I much related to it and found myself squeezing through the crowd in search of the exit door. After all, the free beer was gone.

So I guess I’m not 27 anymore. Not sure how that happened as I’ll be 47 this year. I really don’t feel my age and with so many years of travel and life experience perhaps that’s my angle to the songs that turn inside me that have yet to emerge behind the strings of a Guitar. Just the fact that I’m writing about this issue in my blog is kind of interesting as few people even know I play guitar and write music. Even fewer have ever heard any of my stuff and those who hear my music usually don’t have much to say about it.

But still, it remains a thorn in my side…… I doubt I'll do anything about it. Or, will I?