Thursday & Friday

THURSDAY

With my mother finally done with 6 months of Chemo and things looking up I felt it was ok to return to Houston from Denver and get on with my own thing for a while. It’s hot out. 100F/38C. The heat does little to motivate my current case of work burnout and I’m tired of driving all over the place. My effectiveness at chasing the golden carrot at the end of the stick is hampered by a desire to chase something else. I cut today’s search and buy session short. Two estate sales, one with loads of records, yielded nothing much. Of course I missed the best sale that opened at noon as my competition wondered where the heck I was. Never mind me. I was trotting around the neighborhood boiling my brain in the glaring heat searching for common sense and a little inspiration while running 4 miles. Somehow I thought it was the more constructive thing to do.

Old patterns, habits, and routines can be hard to break when they seem to work Ok with a nice upside. However, one never really knows what a nice new suit and fresh persona is like until one gets up and trades in their old bag of tricks for a new improved set of tools. Suspending that in which one thinks they are can open up a plethora of exciting possibilities. Is the best one can do found in roaming amidst Desert Mountains with a mule named Mud in search of the elusive big nugget of joy? Or, is it in the awakening of a new direction with an enhanced perspective of, “This is what I do”, “That is what I did”, and “Experience has made me who I am”. The question is whether or not to hold on to what I know or to let go for what can be known. Regardless, I’ve got it pretty darned good in life.

The Grand Canyon is a vast and beautiful place. But it’s also rut. I’ve been to the bottom a couple of times and camped a few days on both occasions. The river runs by as you stare at the canyon walls but it’s hard to see much. After a few days at the bottom you either hike up, take a mule out, or you ride the river with its strong currents and big ass rapids. I’ve always hiked. Always.

FRIDAY

It’s still Hot Hot Hot. 100F/38C. In Houston this could continue until September sometime.

Today I was very successfully inefficient. I circumnavigated the city on the inner loop known as the 610. Very few rewards were met but I’ll make enough money to pay for gas and a sandwich. What we put our time into has an enormous effect on who we are. Our thoughts, actions, attitudes, and beliefs sculpt our human experience and direct our path along the avenue of life.

Setting unreasonably low expectations and dabbling in the realm of victim mentality is extremely limiting. A helping hand is a good thing but an expected handout is disempowering.